Human Rights

Lending a Helping Middle Finger

Google the terms “Harper” along with “shameful” and you’ll see a pretty big whack of results. But near the top you’ll probably find the 2012 decision to stop health care coverage for many refugee claimants, which had predictably awful results.

But Harper soon found himself faced with his greatest nemesis: the constitution. In 2014 the Federal Court of Canada ruled that the cuts were “cruel and unusual” and an “outrage [to] Canadian standards of decency.” Good thing, otherwise we would have had to change that slogan to #StrongProudCruelUnusual

Get that shit outta my house (of parliament)!

Undeterred by “standards of decency” the Harper government is now spending $1.4 million dollars of taxpayer money in legal fees to appeal the case. And continuing with their drawn-out divorce of appearances from reality, they’ve spent millions on a Canadian Museum of Immigration that celebrates how well we treat our refugees.

The Northern Garbage Dump “Cleanse”

Food in Canada’s far north is crazy expensive: for example, milk costs 10 times more in the north than the rest of Canada. Who has the William Lyon Mackenzie Kings for that? Sam Tutanuak, a local deputy mayor, even calls it “normal” to see people eating food from the garbage dump. (We eagerly wait a revised Canada Food Guide incorporating this exciting new food group.)

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Respecting Women Too Much To Fund Them

Since coming into power, Harper has respected women so hard that he cut funding for women’s advocacy by 43 per cent, respectfully shutting down 12 out of 16 Status of Women offices in Canada and eliminated funding of legal voices for women and minority groups — whom he greatly respects — including the respected National Association of Women and the similarly respectable Law and the Courts Challenges Program.

I Got 99 Problems Put The Other 1006 Aren’t One

At the G20, 1,105 arrests were made — the largest mass arrest in Canadian history. Of those 1,105 arrests, almost 800 were baseless and couldn’t be charged with anything, suggesting that politically engaged, sexually over-active college kids are not, in fact, a legit security threat.

The Iran “Threat”

Harper’s fear mongering over Iran is becoming increasingly unhinged, even though there is extremely good evidence that Iran is NOT building nuclear weapons. The Harper government closed Canada’s Iranian embassy in 2012, though they knew very well that the biggest threat to embassy staff was a potential earthquake.

Also, remember ISIS? The ISIS who Harper is so concerned with that we are sending our own soldiers overseas to fight? Iran is there too, fighting alongside us.

Strip Mining Canada’s Reputation

Over 30 organizations co-authored a report about mining in Latin America that documented several human rights abuses by Canadian companies, and concluded that in spite of those abuses, the Harper government provides those firms with political, legal and financial support. Because hey, what happens in Latin America, stays in Latin America right?

More Free Time

There are 236,000 more people unemployed in Canada since Harper took power in 2006. We’re sure they’re savoring this precious time to finish their abandoned screenplays, rediscover their love of landscape painting, and take their afternoon tea on the patio. The best part of waking up is the existential despair of unemployment in your cup, as they say.

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